Silence has words

The joy on my face was evident but suddenly the words fell to the floor, once again the stroke has reminded me that I am weak and that words are precious. Words are too beautiful for spending them on hate, wasting them on pride, planting fields of discouragement. I reached into the depths of my heart and tried several times only to fail miserably with "blub blub blub blabbablub" Tears crawled down my face, my heart was weary, my soul was crying out for courage and my words were broken. All of a sudden a song came to my heart and it just showered me with such joy, such hope, such love! I began to sing the song out loud, the words quickly fell into place and everything was clear and precious. I raised my eyes to God and sang "How great is our God, how great is our God, sing with me" The words danced from my lips and that one place where the mind wasn't damaged, I could sing, I could sing with hope. As I lifted my trials to God I felt His peace and I knew that He was and is with me in my weakness and for that I praise Him. Greatness isn't about all the things you can do so easily, in fact it's all about what God can do in every failing moment, every circumstance that stands itself between you and Gods promises. Never give up hope in what God can do, it's never about your abilities but rather what God is willing to do in your inabilities, this way only God is given glory and the roots of your faith can only become more precious. You may be pressed from all sides but that will never silence the will of our saviour. God is able, He is able to do much more than we could ever imagine and for this we praise Him, even in the darkest corners of our trials. 

In The Tomb Of Your Weakest Hour

God is ever ready to hear our prayers, it isn't in the caverns of distance that whispers are heard but in the depths of Gods heart, His soul, that is the place where prayer is heard. To God it is nothing short of a symphony of faith, hope and love. The passion is in the waiting, knowing that whatever is done it is done at the epicenter of wisdom. God rolls the stone away from each and every circumstance, what He does with it is the Fathers will and that matters most. The sweet joy is knowing that whatever it is it will be covered by the hands of love, the same hands that where pinned to the cross, the same back that was marked because of our transgressions but praise God for the love that rose jesus from the grave. Whatever you are facing, remember this, God is never finished with you and even when you feel like your in the grave of sorrows last song, you are in Gods hands and He can always roll the stone away. By Ernie Kasper

My strength is in you

There was this brilliant joy that feeds my heart, the love of family, the kindness of friendship and the hope I have in christ jesus. Those were the thoughts dancing around inside my mind and what a beautiful song it was. Suddenly as I began to speak the words just fell to the floor, all scrambled into jargon, almost like someone took all my speech and shook it around in a snow globe. I turned to my daughter to tell her how much I loved her and all that came out was "brineda da da da dub dub" Silence filled my mind but my mouth keep repeating the same thing. My emotions felt like a downpour of frustration and brokenness. My son turned to me and placed his hand on my cheek and said "dad, it's okay" and gave me a big hug. Like a babbling brook I continued to try but to no avail.
That's my stroke and that's my challenge, it comes and goes but what amazes me is God's comfort through it all, the love He exudes in those dark valleys. Sometimes we go through life's challenges and think "this is brutal, this is just the worse thing!" then when you look back you see clearer and you might even see the rainbow after the storm ;) It's been seven years since my stroke and every day is a challenge beyond reason but what has come out of this is something so precious, so amazing that I would never take it back. I found faith that is much deeper than superficial name it and claim behaviour. I found that having faith is all about knowing God's character, knowing that even in suffering He is able to do much more than I could ever dream. That's the God of the bible, the one I love so much! In all my trials God has lead me to this very place, this place where I am writing poetry, painting pictures, taking photography, sculpting, preaching the gospel without regret. So you see, this hardship is temporary, my testimony is in God's unfailing love and it is Him who sustains me and as I run seven miles in seventy cities, I know that God is able to do much more than I could ever imagine.

~I'm Alive~

He took the tears in my life and turned them into wine
God took my sorrows and brought me new tomorrows
His love is precious
His love is divine
He took my broken words
shook the dirt from my heart
taught me to fly
gave me a new start

I'm alive
I'm alive
nothing in this world could ever take away
wash away my love
your my precious child
and every step I take
I'll teach you to rise above
I'll hold your hurts and pains
give you courage during the mighty storms
the rushing rains

There can be a million broken dreams
hurts that tear you at the seems
but I'm the lifter of souls
I'm the light when others hate
sits like burning coals
I will calm the storms
I will be there even unto the end of time
I am yours and you are mine...

By Ernie Kasper

Bullies and Me

The words come to the forefront of my mind "You're such a loser", "Nice face buddy, man you're ugly", "If I looked like you I would shoot myself" and so forth. It was a constant barrage of cruel words with hateful intentions.

     There I was in grade 9, my first year in a big unknown school and I didn't know a single soul. The crazy thing about it all is I was more uncomfortable because at recess people were smoking and some were even lighting up drugs. I hated drugs with a passion, my brother was and is hooked on them and I saw how it was destroying his life, his body, his mind and his character. I had a strong sense of right and wrong and maybe that's where it all started but I think it was even more than that. I looked awkward, spoke awkward and didn't look anyone in the eyes and that's the perfect recipe for being bullied.

     After just two weeks of school things suddenly became a living nightmare, people would just come up to me and say nasty things, sick things, things that don't even deserve to be repeated but I tried to ignore them. I put my best foot forward and kept smiling when I could and shaking off the heartache, the verbal daggers, the cruel intentions. I often prayed before going to school, during school and one thing it taught me was to never be anyone else but yourself.

     During that year and the next it became clearly evident that even switching schools wasn't going to solve my problem with bullies. The next school was even worse than the first one. Girls would come up to me and just laugh at me, while others pretended to like me and then begin laughing as others looked on, knowing all the while that it was just a cruel joke. Stories circulated about who I might be, what I might be, what I was in their minds and the stories got bigger and more cruel as time passed on. One morning in particular I was mocked and ridiculed during class by seven to eight students at one time and then the teacher joined in the festive banter and that was the day that my heart completely fell to pieces. Later that night I attempted suicide and failed miserably, thankfully! My parents saw the serious situation that had finally boiled to an uncontrollable frenzy of pain and decided to take me to South America on a trip. I believe that in some small way it was the best thing to do. They took me out of school and I lived life, I actually began to smile again, not all the time like I used to but the smile was working its way back in.

     To make a long story short, I fell into satanism, became an angry young man and by the time I was 17 I was seriously involved in martial arts for the purpose of never being bullied again. I took my situation and tried to resolve it my way, I was angry at God and at life but I had a radical turnaround and accepted christ back into my life and began witnessing to my partying friends and the change in my life shocked them. Suddenly I wasn't the angry guy looking for violence and hate, I was looking for truth, faith, hope and love. God took my broken life and made me bold for the gospel. I became someone that had enough courage through christ to forgive those who hurt me, who hated me, and even those who betrayed me. Jesus taught me to love others as myself and that in itself is a novel waiting to be written ;)

Where we are broken, God in His amazing glory, His wonderful love, can and will restore us. It isn't that God is cruel by ignoring our suffering when we pray for hope, change and deliverance but rather it is all about perfect timing. My life is a testimony of Gods unfailing love, His devoted arms of strength despite everything I've done, everything anyone has done to me. I am a child of the one true King and by jesus's strips I am made brand new. Bullying can never triumph over the grace of the cross, fear and hatred could not keep jesus in the grave and for that resurrection I am forever changed...

The beauty of a soul is something of a mystery, you see if you hold it in your hand and do nothing with it, it remains a seed, there is only the shell of it's potential, but if you know it's true value, the purpose for what it was always intended to do, then you can do wonders with it. When God reaches the depths of who we really are, He takes that seed and He places it in the soil of jesus's life, and He waters it with grace, with love, with tender mercy and with the utmost care in mind; because when the seasons change and the rain has passed, the sun begins to shine, you will become the beautiful flower, the blossoming tree, whatever He has purposed for your life. The great marvel of it all is God always new what seed you were and where you should be planted and what blessings you would bestow to others. By Ernie Kasper #teamjesus #wisdom #faith #hope #love

Second Chances

God is a God of second chances, third, fourth and every other number never forget that His character is love but even in that vast well of grace He will use wisdom and sometimes that wisdom requires tough love, the love that must do the unpopular, the love that must speak out, the love that tells it like it is but always at the right moment. By Ernie Kasper ‪#‎reallove‬ ‪#‎faith‬ ‪#‎hope‬ ‪#‎God‬

It's never easy but then again....

When life hits you with a curve ball it can really catch you off guard but then again that's life. The amazing thing is whether you can learn from it, can you adapt to the trials, the heartaches, the broken dreams and pick yourself up and keep swinging until you hit that ball. When I suffered my stroke 7 years ago it became very clear that this was a curve ball and that I had to not only pick myself up but learn to read, write, walk and talk and then swing that bat! There were many, many tears, lots of frustration, people misunderstanding me and sadly enough some would value me as less than who I was. I was still me, inside the shell there was the same person who is and was Ernie. I still loved to laugh though at many times it was silent, I still loved to smile though it was crooked, I still loved to hug though it was often done with little or no strength at all; the real me was still alive and thriving. My life was being blown by the wind and it didn't help that most of me had become ashes. There is this deep part of me that says "God is there, it may seem distant but He's right there" and I took that whisper and I made it echo through the valley of my tears. I wasn't going to let this break me and crush who I was. I was going to pick up the pieces and with Gods help I was going to be a mosaic picture of faith, hope and love. Suffering has this unique way of stripping you of all your weight and putting a mirror in front of you and saying "Is this who you are?!" Well this was and is who I am, someone who refuses to quit, to give up, to simply end my story with failure and by Gods grace it will be so much more than I could have ever imagined.

By Ernie Kasper