~Letting Go~

I wrote this today, thinking about experiences I've had, people I've met, friends, family etc. and the tough reality of some choices made and how time shows how friends come into your life and how time can show others quickly fading. I look back and amazingly enough I have fond memories of good childhood friends who were unbelievably faithful and kind and without a shadow of a doubt they would remain consistent. Things change, life hands you new circumstances and the song begins anew.


Thankful for the beauty in ashes, the oil in mourning and the joy in mercy...

Laugh With Joy

When I had to learn how to read, write, walk and talk again, there was something so deep and so profound that God could only provide and that was the joy that surpases sorrow, that overcomes misery, that triumphs over adversity and that was and is the joy of the Lord; knowing that even in the darkest times God always brings the sunshine of His promises, the joy that overcomes the deepest valley. When I was able to literally laugh again, it was and is a sweet simple joy that I shall use until it is no more ;)

By Ernie Kasper ~ Stroke Survivor

The Light

Remember ;)

Training Is

Courage

Courage is always a tough thing, it requests and even demands immediate reactions at times, it's in those very moments that we choose to pursue the goal set before us or if we back down and let it pass by...

One thing is for sure, courage changes you, makes you see things in a bigger picture, lets you realize what is worth the sacrifice or not. Your character changes, your ideas change, your strength to pursue grows and grows with each advancing step. Courage can easily begin small but end in great big results of victory but it's a decision each and every time...

Rise Above It

     What an awesome night of training!!!! For the first time I ran 7 km while skipping and I was able to perform for the last km a double skip every 5 minutes and then I did my regular routine of martial arts and acrobatics. Towards the end of my training a group of teenagers were cheering me on and screaming and shouting after I performed acrobatics. One teenager ran across the street and nervously came up to me and wanted to shake my hand. It was weird to see all of them filming me with their cell phones though.
     When I got home I couldn't help but remember when I couldn't speak, walk, understand language and more, I thought of all the people who turned away and stopped talking to me or people who would look down at me because my stroke often presented itself as a person of less intelligence or to say it kindly, they thought I was mentally challenged. I saw through their eyes the shallow judgement, the snobby refusal to even look at you because of your behaviour but in turn I also saw and met some of the sweetest people who wanted to find the deepest part of me, they wanted to know who I was despite what they saw. God does that but with far greater wisdom and he takes our lives when we trust in Him and He plants a new beginning with much more than we could ever conceive on our own strength.

Bullies and Me

The words come to the forefront of my mind "You're such a loser", "Nice face buddy, man you're ugly", "If I looked like you I would shoot myself" and so forth. It was a constant barrage of cruel words with hateful intentions.

     There I was in grade 9, my first year in a big unknown school and I didn't know a single soul. The crazy thing about it all is I was more uncomfortable because at recess people were smoking and some were even lighting up drugs. I hated drugs with a passion, my brother was and is hooked on them and I saw how it was destroying his life, his body, his mind and his character. I had a strong sense of right and wrong and maybe that's where it all started but I think it was even more than that. I looked awkward, spoke awkward and didn't look anyone in the eyes and that's the perfect recipe for being bullied.

     After just two weeks of school things suddenly became a living nightmare, people would just come up to me and say nasty things, sick things, things that don't even deserve to be repeated but I tried to ignore them. I put my best foot forward and kept smiling when I could and shaking off the heartache, the verbal daggers, the cruel intentions. I often prayed before going to school, during school and one thing it taught me was to never be anyone else but yourself.

     During that year and the next it became clearly evident that even switching schools wasn't going to solve my problem with bullies. The next school was even worse than the first one. Girls would come up to me and just laugh at me, while others pretended to like me and then begin laughing as others looked on, knowing all the while that it was just a cruel joke. Stories circulated about who I might be, what I might be, what I was in their minds and the stories got bigger and more cruel as time passed on. One morning in particular I was mocked and ridiculed during class by seven to eight students at one time and then the teacher joined in the festive banter and that was the day that my heart completely fell to pieces. Later that night I attempted suicide and failed miserably, thankfully! My parents saw the serious situation that had finally boiled to an uncontrollable frenzy of pain and decided to take me to South America on a trip. I believe that in some small way it was the best thing to do. They took me out of school and I lived life, I actually began to smile again, not all the time like I used to but the smile was working its way back in.

     To make a long story short, I fell into satanism, became an angry young man and by the time I was 17 I was seriously involved in martial arts for the purpose of never being bullied again. I took my situation and tried to resolve it my way, I was angry at God and at life but I had a radical turnaround and accepted christ back into my life and began witnessing to my partying friends and the change in my life shocked them. Suddenly I wasn't the angry guy looking for violence and hate, I was looking for truth, faith, hope and love. God took my broken life and made me bold for the gospel. I became someone that had enough courage through christ to forgive those who hurt me, who hated me, and even those who betrayed me. Jesus taught me to love others as myself and that in itself is a novel waiting to be written ;)

Where we are broken, God in His amazing glory, His wonderful love, can and will restore us. It isn't that God is cruel by ignoring our suffering when we pray for hope, change and deliverance but rather it is all about perfect timing. My life is a testimony of Gods unfailing love, His devoted arms of strength despite everything I've done, everything anyone has done to me. I am a child of the one true King and by jesus's strips I am made brand new. Bullying can never triumph over the grace of the cross, fear and hatred could not keep jesus in the grave and for that resurrection I am forever changed...